Right. It was a cold night while returning from Ghajini. We went to our favourite theatre- Cauvery. We rode on the footpath while going. It was utterly crazy but we had to make it there on time. We walked in around five minutes late. The first face I saw on screen was of Jiah Khan. I think she tried to get the “Priyanka Chopra tan” but it got two shades darker by mistake. Anyway, it suits her pretty well. As much as I dislike her, she has done a good job in the movie.
Aamir Khan, who suffers from a loss of Short Term Memory and Insomnia in the movie, has amazing presence. His acting is immaculately perfect! When required, he is an adorable, sweet chocolate boy. When he is not hot and awesome, he is a mad dog. Seriously! He growls, bites, kicks, scratches and what not! He has that mad look in his eye that can make chills run down your spine. He loses his sanity from time to time and makes you squeeze whatever you have in your hand real hard. In the second half of the movie, I actually sat in my seat, shivering from head to toe, not because I was cold but because I was that excited. I watched about five minutes of the movie through my Santa cap because I felt it was a little too gory. I heard a little kid say “Mummy, Taare Zameen Par is only nice”. Heh. Poor chap! When there were around ten minutes left, I sat there hoping the movie would never end. Brilliant action!
Asin looks ok-ok in the movie. Should she shed some pounds, she’ll look stunning! Her acting is remarkably good especially when she is scared to death sitting in the Pooja room. That scene will give you goose bumps. You might see a little over acting when she gets one dabba Ambassador, then again, nobody is perfect.
The songs were unnecessary. A R Rahman is definitely not at his best. No comments about the lyrics of the songs. (They are terrible. :P) And what the hell is with Aamir Khan’s clothes?! He really doesn’t look like the CEO of his company. He looks like he came dressed up for the shooting of Matrix or James Bond. Nevertheless, he pulled it off!
Overall, brilliant movie, thanks to Aamir Khan’s flawless acting. If not for him, the movie would have been like one of SRK’s action flicks. (Ahem! By SRK I mean Shivraj Kumar. :P) Enthralling and action-packed, the movie will make you yell “hodyo ounna” every ten minutes or so. Hehe. I’d give the movie 4 on 5.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Bittersweet Memories
Out of 366 days of 2008, I bear in mind very few days.
Jan 18th - Su’s birthday. I lost my phone (V3i) that day but I also found a new love. Appa found Simba on the road that day. What a great day! I think that’s the first time Su got her hair straightened.
March 4th – It was appa-amma’s 25th anniversary. Great day. :)
March 16th – My sweetheart’s birthday! :P
March 17th – My board exams began. First day, I had Chem. I walked out of college with a smirk on my face looking at so many people weeping. I had smashed the exam and I scored a ninety! B-)
April 17th – The day I took a major leap towards my goal. I decided to ditch CET and stopped studying for it. What a waste of time! I had studied till then. Sigh! Anyway, I do not regret my decision. I love Journalism and I’m very glad I did not do Engineering. I see my friends suffering all the time.
May 19th – The crazy trek day! Guess you all know that day pretty well. Hehe.
May 25th – Mangalore trip for Katti’s wedding. We went to Blue Waters. I think I saw two girls making out. :P
June 1st – The Kudremukh trek. I witnessed one of the most beautiful and majestic sights that day. The scenery was completely breath taking! Plus the leeches were awesome!
June 6th – Supriya’s birthday. The first time I saw a really disgusting insect, some sort of an ugly giant cockroach. I bid goodbye to Su as she was going to live in Pune for two years.
June 11th – First time I entered Mount Carmel College as a Carmelite. I missed Supriya who had been by my side for 14 years! I called her, my eyes brimming with tears. I felt totally at sea.
The next few days were void of any major happenings.
September 3rd – I became an aunt to Aryan! :)
September 9th – Simba ran away. Horrible day. I’d rather not remember it. Hope he is happy wherever he is now! Louu ya Simba! :)
September 10th – Hrishi left to London. The day my solitude hit me real hard. I felt very bad and wrote the post “Is life beautiful”.
September 11th – I got a call from Emirates that day; I suppose you all know that day too. :P Man! Hrishi had hardly left Bangalore and he was already making me jealous!
September 13th – Appa’s birthday!
October 10th – Awesome-a’s birthday. :) Both our exams began on that day. Hehe.
October 25th – We went to Tumkur and Devarayana Durga. There we saw appa’s Engineering College and ate tattey idli in a hotel where he used to eat back in the 70’s. I was so proud of him that day. :)
October 27th – Opposite day! (Gee! I’ve used that term a little too much!) The day Utt and Su straightened their hair and I curled it!
October 29th – We went to Nandi Hills. Awesome drive.
November 23rd – The day I went to Dew Drops with Poo, Sne and Sup. Pooja and I went mad after that and clicked a million crazy pictures!
November 28th – Pooja’s birthday! We surprised Pooja with a super tasty cake. Then we blew up her cash at Pizza Hut. :P
December 4th – Amma’s birthday!
December 13th – My 18th birthday!! Yay!! :) I dressed up all girly. I got a Nike football, got a Chocolate Mousse, had superb lunch at Aromas of China and later got drunk at Le Rock. Perfect way to celebrate adulthood! Hehe. I also got a Nike Sweat shirt and a brilliant book! I went to sleep happily. :)
December 20th – Jim’s birthday! She got a tattoo! It finally happened! :P I treated my friends later in the evening at Dew Drops. Good times. I got a poster of Theo Walcott! Woohoo! : D
December 22nd – Paarrrdyyyy time!! I got my ever-awaited original Arsenal jersey right from Emirates! :D :D Also a ticket to enter Emirates! :D Although it was already used. :P
Now I’ll go to sleep peacefully. I’ve been waiting to write this post from November! Was waiting for my birthday to get over! Hehe.
Merry Christmas everyone! Happy New Year 2009! :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
If I have only one year to live, what I will do with my life.
First of all, I will be super shocked. That will lead me to make hasty decisions and perform peculiar tasks. I will tell all my friends that I have only one year to live and watch them cry, just to feel good about myself, knowing that I’ll be missed. Jokes apart, before I kick the bucket, I will get a tattoo, go bungee jumping and maybe sky diving. Since I’m passionate about trekking, I will climb Mount Everest. If that is impossible, Kudremukh will do. Since I will die in a year, I will be ready to do anything precarious.
I will go to my dream destination, London, and visit the Emirates stadium. I will definitely watch a match, my favourite team against the team I hate the most-Arsenal vs. Manchester United. I would love to meet my favourite player, my heartthrob, Theo Walcott. I will learn to play the guitar and play on stage once (Doesn’t matter how big or small the stage is).
I’ll go watch John Petrucci, Joe Satriani and Mark Tremonti play, wherever they perform. I will listen to music day and night till I die!
I will spend the better part of my year with my family. I will watch Princess Diaries with Supriya how many ever times I can after watching all other legendary movies. I will call the writer of How I Met Your Mother and make him tell me how he met their mother. Hehe. I will take endless walks with Uttara on sixth main. I’ll talk over the phone to Pooja forever. I will eat blue berry cheesecake with Supriya ceaselessly. I’ll text I Ain’t and Strum till the end of time. I will make Su quit her studies and spend time with me. Make her shop for me and stuff. Those are the things I do most often. Basically, I won’t let anyone leave me alone. No, actually, I won’t leave them alone.
I will make sure I play for my college football team and win a trophy. I’ll spend a lot of time at Sankey. I will eat all the orange candy in the world. Time and again, I will go to Pizza Hut. I will eat benney dosey thrice a week. (I wouldn’t want to be fat when I die.) I will go to Hard Rock Café just once more. I will eat a rainbow Lolly Pop. I will dress myself up in a beautiful gown once and do my best to look nice. I would love to hold a tiger cub in my arms once. I will write a Will bequesting my most priced possessions to my favourite people. Last, but not the least, I will make it a point to report at least five minutes of News on ESPN, which would make me feel like a successful Journalist.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
It’s a Wonderful Life.
“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” That being the tagline of the movie, to an extent, reflects our own lives. No one can do without friends. Not me, not you, not George Bailey.
Released in 1947 in black and white, directed by Frank Capra, the movie is based on a book called “The Greatest Gift” by Philip Van Doren Stern. The movie was shot just after the Second World War, starring AFI Lifetime Achievement Award winner, James Stewart and Academy Award winner, Donna Reed.
A little bit of fantasy mixed with drama and romance, the movie is a classic. It is set in the story-bound town of Bedford Falls. On Christmas Eve, George Bailey, who manages the Bailey Building & Loan Association, decides to commit suicide because of financial bankruptcy. This stirs the angels in heaven and Clarence (Henry Travers) comes down to the Earth as George Bailey’s Guardian Angel and “saves his life”. He shows George how the world would be without his existence and how he makes a difference to his kith and kin.
It was not the kind of movie that would make me check the time frequently. In fact, it did not feel like two hours at all. The movie was very entertaining indeed, which is quite contrary to what I expected when I saw the “angels” (asteroids and starts) talking to each other. Donna Reed looks absolutely stunning and James Stewart can wear super high pants and still look smart! Remarkable among all of them was Little George Bailey (Robert J Anderson, who died in June, 2008). I felt he has acted very well. The movie put across a rather strong message but in a very good manner. Anyone can easily relate himself to the movie. The movie is flawless and will certainly awaken your emotions. The aftermath of the movie is the best part! It leaves you all optimistic and gives you that nothing-can-go-wrong feeling. It is the sort of movie, which you are speechless about! It makes you think “Oh! It’s a Wonderful Life!” I would give it a nine on ten.
Monday, November 24, 2008
17 going on 18
December is around the corner, which means my birthday is around the corner. :)
I’m turning eighteen this year. I remembered all my other birthdays. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, blah, I don’t remember. :P
Although, I remember, that on my 12th birthday, when I was in 7th std, I was highly discontented. My stupidity of course! I cried twice that day. Once in school- I had somehow managed to drink a whole lot of ink from some low quality gel pen. My lips, my tongue and my teeth were blue. I looked so bizarre, especially with that shiny red and golden dress. Ugh! I looked like a peculiar red and golden snake with a blue tongue. I wished I could disown myself. Later, I cried at home because my friends wanted to dance (usually part of every party, now turned into paper dance) in Pranjali’s house. Obviously I couldn’t go because my relatives were in my house. Foolish me, I threw a tantrum and started crying. That, I can say, was my worst birthday. My 13th, 14th and 15th birthdays were normal kiddie parties, with cutting-the-cake ceremonies and passing the parcel and all that.
16th birthday was sort of exciting because it was the first time I treated people of my own age. :P Bowling, McDonald’s, again, quite normal.
17th was nice, I loved the surprise that night. I so didn’t expect it! Hell! Supriya was in the bathroom right next to my room while talking to me over the phone, whereas Sunayana and Sunetra were decorating downstairs. One Blueberry Cheesecake and one Rich Chocolate Cake will make anyone happy! :) Thanks you guys!
Well, on my 18th birthday, when I’m turning into an adult, I want to do something BIG. Something that will have a big impact on me, something that will make me feel like a big girl! So, I was thinking maybe, losing my virginity. How about that??
Ok ok I’m kidding. I’m kidding big time! I just felt like Robin Scherbatsky’s little sister. Hehe. Anyway, maybe I’ll get a tattoo, or get drunk with my friends. Or maybe I’ll just slap a raging bull on his ass and run! :D
Sunday, November 16, 2008
My first movie review :)
I just returned from the theatre after watching Dostana. I’m listening to Jaane Kyon from the movie at present. Until I watched the movie, I disliked the song. Now, I love the song, although I’ll get bored of it by tonight. Weird. The movie is hilarious through out, especially the first half. It got me cracking. I have not laughed so much in a theatre as far as I can remember. Abhishek is super funny. In fact, I think he has acted well. Maybe acting gay is his cup of tea. Except for his selection of clothes, he is excellent. As for John, it’s all about his good looks and ability to woo girls. Not much acting from his side, except when Neha’s (Priyanka Chopra) boss visits them. He “acts like a girl, but thinks like a man”. That part was uproarious. Abhishek and John make a great pair on screen! Priyanka Chopra looks dazzling all through. She wears very pretty clothes and carries herself well. A few scenes may lead you to reminiscences of Fashion; the homosexuality, the fashion shows and Priyanka’s hair do-which never seems to change. On Bobby Deol, I have no comments. Watch out for Neha’s aunt. Although appalling, she is ludicrous. The movie is filled with a whole lot of perverted jokes. I felt a little awkward because I was sitting next to twelve year old, who, I assume, did not understand quite a few parts of the movie.
The plot is an archetype of any Karan Johar movie. Three guys fall in love with one female and the obvious guy manages to be the victor. The story is very predictable. Nevertheless, the movie is super fun. All in all, Abhishek, John and Priyanka form a great trio and the movie is definitely worth watching at least once.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
You’re so vain, Cristiano.
Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo has been revealed as a vain person by his ex-girlfriend Nereida Gallardo. Gallardo, 24, who had been dumped by Ronaldo by means of a text message after eight months, revealed that the Man U ace has an extreme beauty regime with which to keep his body hair-free. “He likes his body to be smooth all over and would even use hair-removal cream. He would also use tubs of moisturiser, coating every part of his body, at least twice a day,” News of the World quoted Gallardo as saying.
She also said that she had found out earlier on in their relationship that the only love in Ronaldo’s life is himself. “His house is full of mirrors so he’s walking around and glancing at himself,” she revealed.
Besides preening, the 23-year-old winger also liked to scrawl his initials and the number seven all over the place, even on doors, coffee tables, and mirrors, and even looking at himself and playing with his hair. “He has curly hair and liked me to use my straighteners to do it for him,” she said.
The one thing that is still making Gallardo fume about is the way that Ronaldo broke off with her. “He is a coward who couldn’t end it face-to-face,” she said.
Source: Times of India
Heh. Talk about being a self-obsessed, gay, show-offy, gutless wimp.
Yes, you are a good footballer, but not the best.
You can call him a nice guy if you want to but I am calling a spade a spade; that guy is a scum bag.
Go fly your own kite Ronaldo!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Life just got better!
Last night’s results:
Manchester United-Liverpool: 1-2 (Included an own-goal by Brown. Heh!)
Arsenal-Blackburn: 4-0(Included amazing foot-work by Theo, my baby! :P)
Mount Carmel College-St. Joseph’s Commerce College: 2-0
:D
What more can I say?!
Cheers! :)
Manchester United-Liverpool: 1-2 (Included an own-goal by Brown. Heh!)
Arsenal-Blackburn: 4-0(Included amazing foot-work by Theo, my baby! :P)
Mount Carmel College-St. Joseph’s Commerce College: 2-0
:D
What more can I say?!
Cheers! :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Life is Beautiful! :)
It has been an exceptionally amazing day for me!
I went for football after a looong break, played for 3 hours, didn't attend classes, came back home, played my guitar till lunchtime and went online. I spoke to Pooja for almost two hours over the phone. Immediately after i hung up, i caught her online and we spoke online for about two hours again. Then we decided to meet for Benne Dosey and so we did, within 15 minutes. Later while walking back we went to a haunted house. We didn't realise the house was inhabited and we kept commenting loudly standing right outside the gate. While peeping inside, little did we know that a guy was taking a leak just beside the gate! Haha! How embarrassed he would've been even though we didn't see him peeing. We saw him only after he was done! (Thank God!)
The best part of the day:
Hrishi called from Emirates!!!!!!! Wooohooooooo!! :-) :-) :-)
I'm so honoured to have received a call from Gunners' home. :-) (I'm also very jealous at the same time! Hehe..)
Life can't get any better..
Seriously Hrishi, Thanks a million billion zillion for the call. It made my day! :)
I've been flying, jumping, screaming, running around, laughing, smiling, singing, and kicking my football around- all at the same time! :D :D
I'm so high! Omg! I just can't stop smiling! Hehehehe..
He actually went to the bench, the changing rooms, probably even their restrooms! So Fucking Awesome!!
He is actually where the Gunners will be in a few days! Aaaaahh! Superb!
He Rules! The Gunners Rule! I Rule! You Rule! :D
So long.... :)
I went for football after a looong break, played for 3 hours, didn't attend classes, came back home, played my guitar till lunchtime and went online. I spoke to Pooja for almost two hours over the phone. Immediately after i hung up, i caught her online and we spoke online for about two hours again. Then we decided to meet for Benne Dosey and so we did, within 15 minutes. Later while walking back we went to a haunted house. We didn't realise the house was inhabited and we kept commenting loudly standing right outside the gate. While peeping inside, little did we know that a guy was taking a leak just beside the gate! Haha! How embarrassed he would've been even though we didn't see him peeing. We saw him only after he was done! (Thank God!)
The best part of the day:
Hrishi called from Emirates!!!!!!! Wooohooooooo!! :-) :-) :-)
I'm so honoured to have received a call from Gunners' home. :-) (I'm also very jealous at the same time! Hehe..)
Life can't get any better..
Seriously Hrishi, Thanks a million billion zillion for the call. It made my day! :)
I've been flying, jumping, screaming, running around, laughing, smiling, singing, and kicking my football around- all at the same time! :D :D
I'm so high! Omg! I just can't stop smiling! Hehehehe..
He actually went to the bench, the changing rooms, probably even their restrooms! So Fucking Awesome!!
He is actually where the Gunners will be in a few days! Aaaaahh! Superb!
He Rules! The Gunners Rule! I Rule! You Rule! :D
So long.... :)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Is Life Beautiful??
My life is a game and staying away from people who actually mean something to me earns me so many points that I can win anything I want! I guess this is what I have to say to myself to move on.
It’s pissing off really! All my people are leaving or have left to some place out of Bangalore!
Su- Pune, Navu- Mysore, Hrishi- UK, Pratty- US, Sunne- UK, Swetha- UK, Doddi- UK, Sahana- US, Strum- Chikmangalore.
Bloody hell! Absolutely none of my first cousins are in Bloody Bangalore!
I have turned into some kind of a loner now. Uttara keeps to herself most of the times or she is with her other friends. Sup is quite busy with her college. I hardly get to meet her. I guess I’ve only been with Pooja lately. Yeah it’s fun meeting her.
Apart from that, life has been a big bore! Going to college is pretty boring too. I haven’t had football practice for three weeks now. Sigh..
I just bid goodbye to Hrishi, who will leave to London in approximately 5 hours. I stayed at his place for 3 days. It was horrible to part. While I was trying to act all normal n all Sanjana came to me, held my shirt tight and said “Pyees hogbeda”! Fuck! You have no clue how hard it is to refrain from crying when someone says something like that and actually means it! She tugged on my shirt twice, thrice and said “Pyees hogbeda”. I saw her cute little eyes shining with tears. That one little touch brought tears in my eyes too! The innocence, the fact that she actually meant it, I thought I was going to break down then and there. But, I don’t have the courage (or whatever it takes) to cry in front of a lot of people. I sat in my car and started listening to music. Ah! To brighten things up My Immortal started playing. I wept like shit! I thought of Simba, Su, Sanjana and everyone who isn’t with me and cried. At the same time I was trying to hide my face from the rest of them. Now I think “Wtf!” because I’m letting all of you know that I cried! :P
Bah, I just want it to be over so I can go back to being miserable about people rather than miserable about the lack of
people.
PS: Sorry about this Post. It’s so boring and filled with bullshit. If I had read it in someone else’s blog, I would’ve thought “Heh! Get a Life Loser!”
But then again, I feel a lot better after writing this..
Cheers?
Swat
Friday, July 18, 2008
The damn intruder; Ever so freaky
That night I slept, ever so excited.
Just the previous night I had gone to bed in tears because my dad had ditched me once more and I was really frustrated. He had refused to buy a bike for me.
The next day though, turned out to be great. I don’t know who convinced him, my gramma, mum, Su or Simba but he agreed to go and book a bike in the evening. Ever so happy I was. I had a test in college the next day. I studied sincerely and finished studying by the time he came back from office. Mom agreed to come back home by herself. So Dad and I left to the showroom and booked the bike, a black Scooty pep+. It’s weird really, one time you are so pissed off with them (dad and mum) that you never want to talk to them again, and the next minute, they are greater than you can comprehend. I came back home, ever so excited. I didn’t really tell anyone about the bike. I would tell them after the bike was delivered.
I was trying to get my mind off the bike to revise what I had studied, when there was a power cut. Suddenly I had all the concentration in the world and I was studying with the light of the emergency light. It was then that I realized I hadn’t seen my mum from about an hour. I called out to her. My gramma answered instead. She said my mum was doing Yoga upstairs. So I continued to study in the dark until my mum came down. She claimed that she had heard someone breathing loudly right beside her while she was doing Yoga. I joked that she mistook her own breathing for someone else’s. (Okay we do crack stupid jokes at home.) But she sounded like she meant it. I started yelling loudly that cops were coming and I warned “the intruder” to shoo off. None of us were really serious. We just laughed about it.
After dinner I lay in bed, reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I read until two cardinals were brutally murdered. It’s supposed to be extremely gross, but I just laughed when I read it. I shut my book and turned on my iPod. For some reason, I felt a slight tinge of fear. I remembered all these movies when someone is really happy and suddenly he is attacked or something terrible happens to him. I ignored my thoughts and increased the volume on my iPod and fell asleep.
Later that night, I lay wide-awake on my bed, feeling adrenaline rushing up through my body. I had heard a noise outside the room. I couldn’t recognize what it was. Then I heard it again! Someone was tampering with the latch on my door. I wondered why because the door was wide open. I was turning away from the door, my pulse rate ever so high. I heard the jeans I had hung on my cupboard move. My cupboard door creaked and I almost yelped! I didn’t have the guts to turn around and see who it was. It could’ve easily been the wind, but it was hardly a windy night. My imagination went wild. I pictured a thief stabbing me with a knife or puncturing my lungs (Why? Thanks to Angels and Demons; How? I have no clue) or shooting me or even poking my eye. (Lol) I lay there, so helpless. I tried to yell but I had lost my voice. Someone was now fiddling with the curtain rod and then a deodorant bottle fell down making a terrible clatter. It didn’t seem to bother the intruder. Now I was positive there was a thief in my room. I slowly rummaged on my bed for my iPod, my most priced possession. I value it more then I value myself. I found it at the edge of my bed and I slowly pulled it under my pillow, hoping a dagger doesn’t pierce my hand. The intruder was right above my head. I jerked my head like I would’ve done in my sleep and opened my eyes ever so slowly. I saw the belts hanging on the curtain rod swinging. I was so terrified; I could’ve peed in my pants! But I didn’t. That just shows how brave I was. :P I looked at my table. Everything was a mess. I thought to my self “If I was scared the time in Wayanad when I was falling off the cliff, I can’t fathom how scared I am now!” It was the first time in my life I ‘heard’ my own heart beats. I have ‘felt’ it before, but now I could actually ‘hear’ it! I was scared to death! It seemed like the thief had also heard my heart beating ever so loudly! Suddenly all the noise stopped. It was as if nothing had just happened. Not to me though. I looked for my phone. I gathered all my guts and turned on the torch in my phone. I focused the light on all the nooks and corners of my room but saw no one. I focused under my bed. Nothing. I decided to go back to sleep and pretend nothing had happened and I was dreaming. Damnit! I just couldn’t. I got off my bed, quickly took my iPod and my phone and ran ever so fast to my gramma’s room and jumped on the bed. I saw that it was 3:15 am. I lay awake till 4:00 am. I just couldn’t get myself to sleep. I turned on my iPod and listened to Watch Over You and wondered if someone was watching over me from my room. I closed my eyes tight. I fell asleep.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Day 4: May 19th, 2008
“Chirp chirp chirp”. It’s amazing how such a small insect can make such immense noise! At first we didn’t know what was causing the racket. We though they were crickets. It is after I went to Kudremukh that I got to know what it was. But I still don’t know the name of the insect. :P We woke up to the sounds of the forest and the flow of water. I was the first one to peep out of the tent. There was a faint mist hanging all around us. The car was covered with mist as well. So was our tent. Money (Refer prev. post) was nowhere around. I walked straight up to the river and watched a man bathing his cattle. Seemed like they were enjoying it. The cow’s name was Amba. :P After a little chat with the man and dirtying Hrishi’s floaters I went back to the tent. Navu and Sanju were off to fetch us some breakfast. Su and Hrishi were still sleeping. I tried waking them up. A vain effort really. So I brushed and washed my face and went back to the river. Navu and Sanju returned quite quickly with “Gerala Barodaz” (Kerala Parotas). :P It was pretty tasty. For once, something I ate didn’t have coconut oil in it! Phew! It was time to start packing as we were to visit Edakkal Caves and then return to Bangalore that day. We removed the tent. Rather Navu and Sanju removed the tent and Hrishi helped. Su cleared up the mess in the car and I supervised everything. :P We found Money, bid goodbye to him and pushed off to Edakkal Caves.
12 kms from Sulthan Bathery, 3 caves are located at a height of 1000 mts on Ambukuthi mala near Ambalavayal. The caves can be accessed only by a 1Km trekking trail from Edakkal. We were asked to stop the car at the very bottom of the hill. Hrishi parked the car and killed the engine. The 1 km trek would have been absolutely tiring and exhausting if not for the jeep ride. I had never gone in a jeep before. After going in this one, I realised this would be the craziest jeep trip in my life. He was riding at what seemed like 80kmph. The path was very narrow and only one jeep would fit. So if another jeep interfered, we would all be goners, because the road was so curvy, we’d never know what is ahead of us and we wouldn’t have time to slow down. But then the jeep people had it all planned out. There were only two jeeps and neither would drive when the other one did. So we zipped and zoomed along the curves for a minute and Wow! We were already there! The place was pretty crowded. We were supposed to buy tickets to get into the cave. Sanju was so totally freaked out to enter the caves. He had Claustrophobia. He had had bad experiences before. But a stranger who had just come out of the cave convinced him that there are no such areas inside and that he could go without fear of losing breath. (But trust me, the stranger, while talking looked like he’d pass out then and there!)
The cave was not at all what I expected it to be. It was Huge, with sunlight pouring in from everywhere. A Geologist would’ve thoroughly enjoyed this. There were inscriptions all over the rocks. It looked beautiful. There were huge boulders all around us. There was one right above my head, which didn’t really have support from below. It took support from the rocks on either side of me and it looked like it would plunge down on me any minute. It was uncanny. As far as Hrishi could remember, this was not how it was. He claimed that there was a really tall mountain, which we’d have to trek. There seemed to be nothing like that. After killing a little more time clicking pictures we left. We saw a small door in the side. Not many people were there. We went out and now we knew what Hrishi was talking about. A 1000 mt high mountain stretched upwards before our eyes. Holy cow! That was a long way up! Navu was exhausted after the previous day’s trek and refused to come further. The rest of us moved on. There wasn’t any path. Only rocks. We followed the few people that we could see and reached a small landing from where we had to hang on to a rope and climb up. Hrishi went up first. He made it look easy. Su went next. She was wearing her Adidas floaters, which have absolutely no grip. She climbed up the ladder and held the rope. I had faith in her. I thought it would be a piece of cake for her because she was the “Goddess of treks” or something. She had gone for so many treks before this and done scarier stuff. But no. She freaked out big time! She refused to take another step. Poor female. I’m glad she didn’t come along, considering what was in store for us. She wouldn’t stand a chance with those floaters. With a mixture of apprehension and excitement, I went up next. I climbed each rung of the ladder slowly. Now all I had to do was get a tight grip on the rope and the ground and walk swiftly upwards. I reached up in a jiffy. Sanju followed me. He climbed with ease. We left Su behind who joined Navu. Two down, three more to go. :P
Thankfully the three of us could actually reach the peak. The path was super crazy! At a few places it was at an inclination of about 85 degrees. I’m NOT exaggerating! It was rock climbing with no safety. Hrishi led the way of course, Sanju followed and then I did. Both of them were awesome. What the heck! I was awesome too. :P
We found depressions of about an inch or so in the mountain. Meticulously, we dug our hands and feet into them and climbed up slowly. I was wearing my shades on my head. Hrishi cautioned me that I shouldn’t panic if my shades fell off my head. He said that wasn’t an emergency. Lol. I completely understood. I couldn’t afford to dive for my shades when my freaking life was at stake. Helping each other, (Rather them helping me) we went up. At places the climb was slippery, and seemed unending. All the time I was wondering how we’d go back down. As I already said, the chances of slipping off are much higher while climbing down. Surprisingly, within 20 minutes we reached the peak. I climbed the last bit and stepped up.
Wow! It was a breath-taking view! We could apparently see the borders of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala. It was spectacular! Seriously, the trek was worth it. We sat there for sometime enjoying the wind in our hair. :P We were there for hardly ten minutes. We started our ever-awaited downward trek. I swear on God I have never done anything scarier! I had to sit on each damned rock and climb down. Hrishi and Sanju are both 6 feet and 4 inches (or more) tall. They could with very little difficulty reach the ground when they sat down. I, a foot shorter, was struggling to get down. I had to sort of jump down instead of just sitting and getting down. Worst part is, even when you jump, there is no flat land to get a grip on. There was this one part where the ground was at an inclination of 70 degrees. It was probably 5 metres long. I wasn’t wearing jeans, so even when I sat my butt didn’t have proper grip. Lol. There were very tiny cavities where I could hardly put my fingers. I started downwards and suddenly lost grip. My heart skipped a beat! I panicked! I screeched! I screamed for my mommy! I was continuously slipping for three or four seconds. I was scared to death! Damn those shorts! Hrishi said to calm down and carried me and helped me down. My legs felt like jelly. I had never ever been so scared in my life except maybe when I had to undergo a Root canal treatment, which the dentist did without anesthetizing me. Ughhh! Hate her! Anyway, back to the trek. I was so shaken for like ten minutes and then the shock turned into excitement. The rest of the trek seemed pretty easy after that stretch. We reached down faster than we went up. We met Su and Navu down and I narrated my exciting story of almost falling off the cliff. :P Half laughing and half-shocked they listened as we waited for our jeep. There was a lassi shop there where we could wash up n all. Buttermilk had never tasted better. I drank 3 glasses of that and the others did too. Our jeep arrived and we went back to our car.
Sun burnt, exhausted and drained of energy we finally left to Bangalore. It was around 12 I guess. We drove for quite some time until we reached Muthanga. Navu insisted we go on a Safari and apparently this was the perfect time to go for one. We parked a little off the highway and went in for the Safari. We took the same old Fanta bottle from our car and got into the Safari jeep. A man was clinging onto the car at the back like a monkey. He was the one who’d spot the animals and let us know. Within 5 minutes we spotted an elephant. No. Wait. Oh yeah! An elephant’s tail is what we spotted. Right. And then Sanju realised he had left my shades in the office where he booked the jeep. Immediately he called the office and asked them to keep it safe. Fortunately the driver’s phone had network even in the middle of the forest. No water, no animals but yes network! All hail whichever sim card he had. Honestly speaking, I got bored during the Safari. All we saw were a herd of elephants and also a few spotted deer, not from up close and we gained some little information about the animals. I remember the driver saying an elephant could run at 60kmph. That’s all. Sanju fell asleep. :P Hehe. Noticing that we were bored the driver took us to a small stream where animals usually came to quench their thirst. The water was so cool and nice. Navu was so happy she ran to the water and got a head massage by putting her head under the little waterfall. Hehe. I followed and saw a few water-skaters. I had never seen these insects before. They’re called Gerridae and rely on surface tension to walk on water. They were pretty cool. We decided to bring our car back here and stay here for a while. We went and got our car and stopped at the same Fanta shop and Sanju got some food packed for us. We went to the stream and to our disappointment saw a million cheap looking men in the water picking up stones for some Godforsaken reason. We ate and decided to not get into the water. We spent sometime there playing with the sand. By now we were all sleepy and tired and cranky I guess. Little did we know that all the sleep would be gone in less than 10 minutes.
All was silent and calm. Staring at all the greenery I sat in the car waiting to get home and sleep. It had been an exhilarating day so far. Hrishi was behind the wheels now. Realising that he was slowing down, I took my eyes off the trees and looked ahead. There was a Maruthi 800 in front of us coming from the other direction. They stopped. They seemed to have found something intriguing on their left, inside the forest. Curiously I raised my head but didn’t see anything. As Hrishi went further, I realised that there was a whole herd of elephants right there! They were hardly 4 or 5 meters from the 800. Were they crazy? Why were they standing so close to the elephants?! And it’s not like they were watching silently. There were stupid kids in the car that couldn’t shut their yap! (Ugh! Kids!) Someone probably made a gesture asking them to move away. Unfortunately, “Someone” turned out to be the elephants themselves! To my horror, all of them rushed to the road and stood like an Army ready to attack. Come to think of it now, they were standing exactly like the Indian guys in the movie Lagaan. There were 6 or 7. All full grown. One among them was a tusker. There also was a baby elephant. I remembered how protective elephants were about their little ones. Immediately I had a flash back. The Safari driver had told us that in the recent past, an elephant had rammed into a jeep and made the jeep go flying in the air or something. Fortunately, no one was hurt. I could feel my pulse rate rising. Nobody had realised that there was a Tavera right behind us and just behind that, a truck. Sanju slowly, noiselessly, took out his camera to click some pictures. But before he could, the tusker dangerously banged its front leg on the road. Next minute it was charging right at us! Bloody hell! Hrishi reversed the car and almost hit the Tavera. We had Navu screaming her lungs out. “HRISHI! DO SOMETHING!” That’s precisely what she said. We all were terrified. I was laughing my head off. Navu and Su had frantic grins on their faces. Sanju, who had forgotten about the camera, which was still in his hand, had all eyes on the elephants. Hrishi was busy trying to save our bloody lives! He took a quick U-turn but the 800 was still standing there. The elephants went berserk. There was utter chaos. The 800 finally moved and we moved forward too. Can you believe our luck?! After the 800 went forward, there was a truck on our side of the road coming from the opposite direction. He quickly moved away. The Tavera also had taken a U-turn. We moved around 100 mts away and stopped. All of us sat quietly for a while. We looked at each other and burst out laughing! We laughed for quite sometime. We were flabbergasted. We were speechless. We just got attacked by elephants! After about five minutes a truck guy said it was pretty safe to go. We took yet another U-turn and zoomed faster than anything. We saw the mother elephant standing facing the road as if about to attack. Freaked us out further. We zoomed faster. After a while we all settled down, each of us replaying the scenario in our minds. One of us spotted a wild Bison. It looked really smart. It literally posed for the camera and then we were off again.
There were no more events to drive us over the wall while going to Mysore. When we reached Mysore it was around 7 I think. Sanju had a headache by now. We went to TNT (Tunes N’ Tonics or the other way round. I don’t remember). We sat down and enjoyed the music playing there. “My dream is to fly! Over a rainbow so high!” Su and Hrishi had something that made Bud Wiser. Navu had a mock tail. Poor me! I’m a minor. I wasn’t even allowed to touch anything. :( :P When we walked out of there, we were all in high spirits. At least I was. Even though I didn’t touch anything. :P We went to a place for dinner. ‘Bombay chaat’ or something. I swear I don’t remember much that happened there. I was all dizzy and all I remember is that everyone was calling me “driver” and I got a couple of calls. And then we were home. The rest of them watched the movie “Office Space” I think. I was fast asleep. It was one of the craziest, most exciting day of my life. :)
My special thanks to Navu, Sanju, Hrishi and Su for making the trip so awesome. :D
Ok I’m acting like I’ve won a lifetime achievement award. :P Never mind!
12 kms from Sulthan Bathery, 3 caves are located at a height of 1000 mts on Ambukuthi mala near Ambalavayal. The caves can be accessed only by a 1Km trekking trail from Edakkal. We were asked to stop the car at the very bottom of the hill. Hrishi parked the car and killed the engine. The 1 km trek would have been absolutely tiring and exhausting if not for the jeep ride. I had never gone in a jeep before. After going in this one, I realised this would be the craziest jeep trip in my life. He was riding at what seemed like 80kmph. The path was very narrow and only one jeep would fit. So if another jeep interfered, we would all be goners, because the road was so curvy, we’d never know what is ahead of us and we wouldn’t have time to slow down. But then the jeep people had it all planned out. There were only two jeeps and neither would drive when the other one did. So we zipped and zoomed along the curves for a minute and Wow! We were already there! The place was pretty crowded. We were supposed to buy tickets to get into the cave. Sanju was so totally freaked out to enter the caves. He had Claustrophobia. He had had bad experiences before. But a stranger who had just come out of the cave convinced him that there are no such areas inside and that he could go without fear of losing breath. (But trust me, the stranger, while talking looked like he’d pass out then and there!)
The cave was not at all what I expected it to be. It was Huge, with sunlight pouring in from everywhere. A Geologist would’ve thoroughly enjoyed this. There were inscriptions all over the rocks. It looked beautiful. There were huge boulders all around us. There was one right above my head, which didn’t really have support from below. It took support from the rocks on either side of me and it looked like it would plunge down on me any minute. It was uncanny. As far as Hrishi could remember, this was not how it was. He claimed that there was a really tall mountain, which we’d have to trek. There seemed to be nothing like that. After killing a little more time clicking pictures we left. We saw a small door in the side. Not many people were there. We went out and now we knew what Hrishi was talking about. A 1000 mt high mountain stretched upwards before our eyes. Holy cow! That was a long way up! Navu was exhausted after the previous day’s trek and refused to come further. The rest of us moved on. There wasn’t any path. Only rocks. We followed the few people that we could see and reached a small landing from where we had to hang on to a rope and climb up. Hrishi went up first. He made it look easy. Su went next. She was wearing her Adidas floaters, which have absolutely no grip. She climbed up the ladder and held the rope. I had faith in her. I thought it would be a piece of cake for her because she was the “Goddess of treks” or something. She had gone for so many treks before this and done scarier stuff. But no. She freaked out big time! She refused to take another step. Poor female. I’m glad she didn’t come along, considering what was in store for us. She wouldn’t stand a chance with those floaters. With a mixture of apprehension and excitement, I went up next. I climbed each rung of the ladder slowly. Now all I had to do was get a tight grip on the rope and the ground and walk swiftly upwards. I reached up in a jiffy. Sanju followed me. He climbed with ease. We left Su behind who joined Navu. Two down, three more to go. :P
Thankfully the three of us could actually reach the peak. The path was super crazy! At a few places it was at an inclination of about 85 degrees. I’m NOT exaggerating! It was rock climbing with no safety. Hrishi led the way of course, Sanju followed and then I did. Both of them were awesome. What the heck! I was awesome too. :P
We found depressions of about an inch or so in the mountain. Meticulously, we dug our hands and feet into them and climbed up slowly. I was wearing my shades on my head. Hrishi cautioned me that I shouldn’t panic if my shades fell off my head. He said that wasn’t an emergency. Lol. I completely understood. I couldn’t afford to dive for my shades when my freaking life was at stake. Helping each other, (Rather them helping me) we went up. At places the climb was slippery, and seemed unending. All the time I was wondering how we’d go back down. As I already said, the chances of slipping off are much higher while climbing down. Surprisingly, within 20 minutes we reached the peak. I climbed the last bit and stepped up.
Wow! It was a breath-taking view! We could apparently see the borders of Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala. It was spectacular! Seriously, the trek was worth it. We sat there for sometime enjoying the wind in our hair. :P We were there for hardly ten minutes. We started our ever-awaited downward trek. I swear on God I have never done anything scarier! I had to sit on each damned rock and climb down. Hrishi and Sanju are both 6 feet and 4 inches (or more) tall. They could with very little difficulty reach the ground when they sat down. I, a foot shorter, was struggling to get down. I had to sort of jump down instead of just sitting and getting down. Worst part is, even when you jump, there is no flat land to get a grip on. There was this one part where the ground was at an inclination of 70 degrees. It was probably 5 metres long. I wasn’t wearing jeans, so even when I sat my butt didn’t have proper grip. Lol. There were very tiny cavities where I could hardly put my fingers. I started downwards and suddenly lost grip. My heart skipped a beat! I panicked! I screeched! I screamed for my mommy! I was continuously slipping for three or four seconds. I was scared to death! Damn those shorts! Hrishi said to calm down and carried me and helped me down. My legs felt like jelly. I had never ever been so scared in my life except maybe when I had to undergo a Root canal treatment, which the dentist did without anesthetizing me. Ughhh! Hate her! Anyway, back to the trek. I was so shaken for like ten minutes and then the shock turned into excitement. The rest of the trek seemed pretty easy after that stretch. We reached down faster than we went up. We met Su and Navu down and I narrated my exciting story of almost falling off the cliff. :P Half laughing and half-shocked they listened as we waited for our jeep. There was a lassi shop there where we could wash up n all. Buttermilk had never tasted better. I drank 3 glasses of that and the others did too. Our jeep arrived and we went back to our car.
Sun burnt, exhausted and drained of energy we finally left to Bangalore. It was around 12 I guess. We drove for quite some time until we reached Muthanga. Navu insisted we go on a Safari and apparently this was the perfect time to go for one. We parked a little off the highway and went in for the Safari. We took the same old Fanta bottle from our car and got into the Safari jeep. A man was clinging onto the car at the back like a monkey. He was the one who’d spot the animals and let us know. Within 5 minutes we spotted an elephant. No. Wait. Oh yeah! An elephant’s tail is what we spotted. Right. And then Sanju realised he had left my shades in the office where he booked the jeep. Immediately he called the office and asked them to keep it safe. Fortunately the driver’s phone had network even in the middle of the forest. No water, no animals but yes network! All hail whichever sim card he had. Honestly speaking, I got bored during the Safari. All we saw were a herd of elephants and also a few spotted deer, not from up close and we gained some little information about the animals. I remember the driver saying an elephant could run at 60kmph. That’s all. Sanju fell asleep. :P Hehe. Noticing that we were bored the driver took us to a small stream where animals usually came to quench their thirst. The water was so cool and nice. Navu was so happy she ran to the water and got a head massage by putting her head under the little waterfall. Hehe. I followed and saw a few water-skaters. I had never seen these insects before. They’re called Gerridae and rely on surface tension to walk on water. They were pretty cool. We decided to bring our car back here and stay here for a while. We went and got our car and stopped at the same Fanta shop and Sanju got some food packed for us. We went to the stream and to our disappointment saw a million cheap looking men in the water picking up stones for some Godforsaken reason. We ate and decided to not get into the water. We spent sometime there playing with the sand. By now we were all sleepy and tired and cranky I guess. Little did we know that all the sleep would be gone in less than 10 minutes.
All was silent and calm. Staring at all the greenery I sat in the car waiting to get home and sleep. It had been an exhilarating day so far. Hrishi was behind the wheels now. Realising that he was slowing down, I took my eyes off the trees and looked ahead. There was a Maruthi 800 in front of us coming from the other direction. They stopped. They seemed to have found something intriguing on their left, inside the forest. Curiously I raised my head but didn’t see anything. As Hrishi went further, I realised that there was a whole herd of elephants right there! They were hardly 4 or 5 meters from the 800. Were they crazy? Why were they standing so close to the elephants?! And it’s not like they were watching silently. There were stupid kids in the car that couldn’t shut their yap! (Ugh! Kids!) Someone probably made a gesture asking them to move away. Unfortunately, “Someone” turned out to be the elephants themselves! To my horror, all of them rushed to the road and stood like an Army ready to attack. Come to think of it now, they were standing exactly like the Indian guys in the movie Lagaan. There were 6 or 7. All full grown. One among them was a tusker. There also was a baby elephant. I remembered how protective elephants were about their little ones. Immediately I had a flash back. The Safari driver had told us that in the recent past, an elephant had rammed into a jeep and made the jeep go flying in the air or something. Fortunately, no one was hurt. I could feel my pulse rate rising. Nobody had realised that there was a Tavera right behind us and just behind that, a truck. Sanju slowly, noiselessly, took out his camera to click some pictures. But before he could, the tusker dangerously banged its front leg on the road. Next minute it was charging right at us! Bloody hell! Hrishi reversed the car and almost hit the Tavera. We had Navu screaming her lungs out. “HRISHI! DO SOMETHING!” That’s precisely what she said. We all were terrified. I was laughing my head off. Navu and Su had frantic grins on their faces. Sanju, who had forgotten about the camera, which was still in his hand, had all eyes on the elephants. Hrishi was busy trying to save our bloody lives! He took a quick U-turn but the 800 was still standing there. The elephants went berserk. There was utter chaos. The 800 finally moved and we moved forward too. Can you believe our luck?! After the 800 went forward, there was a truck on our side of the road coming from the opposite direction. He quickly moved away. The Tavera also had taken a U-turn. We moved around 100 mts away and stopped. All of us sat quietly for a while. We looked at each other and burst out laughing! We laughed for quite sometime. We were flabbergasted. We were speechless. We just got attacked by elephants! After about five minutes a truck guy said it was pretty safe to go. We took yet another U-turn and zoomed faster than anything. We saw the mother elephant standing facing the road as if about to attack. Freaked us out further. We zoomed faster. After a while we all settled down, each of us replaying the scenario in our minds. One of us spotted a wild Bison. It looked really smart. It literally posed for the camera and then we were off again.
There were no more events to drive us over the wall while going to Mysore. When we reached Mysore it was around 7 I think. Sanju had a headache by now. We went to TNT (Tunes N’ Tonics or the other way round. I don’t remember). We sat down and enjoyed the music playing there. “My dream is to fly! Over a rainbow so high!” Su and Hrishi had something that made Bud Wiser. Navu had a mock tail. Poor me! I’m a minor. I wasn’t even allowed to touch anything. :( :P When we walked out of there, we were all in high spirits. At least I was. Even though I didn’t touch anything. :P We went to a place for dinner. ‘Bombay chaat’ or something. I swear I don’t remember much that happened there. I was all dizzy and all I remember is that everyone was calling me “driver” and I got a couple of calls. And then we were home. The rest of them watched the movie “Office Space” I think. I was fast asleep. It was one of the craziest, most exciting day of my life. :)
My special thanks to Navu, Sanju, Hrishi and Su for making the trip so awesome. :D
Ok I’m acting like I’ve won a lifetime achievement award. :P Never mind!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Hotel Keralafornia
On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like
the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
&! nbsp; Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here
His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick
mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray
Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Ho! tel Kerala-fornia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies
The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our
steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make y! ou
well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell! *
The above is the parody version of the famous song 'Hotel California' by Eagles....
The song has been sung in a mallu accent using the above lyrics and its damn funny...
you sure will ROTFL...
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a bright pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like
the look of his sinister smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering "No power today"
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
&! nbsp; Such a sad disgrace,
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
It's infested here
It's infested here
His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick
mustache
He makes an ugly, ugly noise
But that's just his laugh
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said,
Don't worry, saar,I sending you
meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray
Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fornia
Such a lousy place,
Such a lousy place (background)
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Ho! tel Kerala-fornia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise (background)
That it swarms with flies
The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our
steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew was the culprit,
I am sure
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make y! ou
well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country? Oh, Hell! *
The above is the parody version of the famous song 'Hotel California' by Eagles....
The song has been sung in a mallu accent using the above lyrics and its damn funny...
you sure will ROTFL...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Day 3 : May 18th, 2008
“SWAAAATHIII!!!! Wake up!!! We got garlic bread with cheese and an Exotica with extra Jalapeño toppings on it!!”. If, they had said that, I guess I would’ve woken up! But no. It was “Swaathhiiii!! Wake up! We’ll get late and we’ll never be able to camp! You have to have a bath immediately and a quick one! (That’s the last thing someone should say to wake me up. I hate baths. Especially short ones.)” I wish I knew how to drive, because Hrishi got to sleep for longer simply because he was supposed to drive. Anyway, I reluctantly got up, brushed, had a quick bath, had tea and sat next to Sanju watching TV, until everyone got ready. We went to “New Hotel” for breakfast. We needed enough Shakthi to last the trek. The hotel was just down the road. It seemed like our home-stay was in the center of the town. But maybe it was because Kalpetta was such a small town. It is probably as big as Malleshwaram. New Hotel had pakka Kerala food. We saw weird looking idlis and a strange noodles-like item. There was also the normal vada, dosa and all that. First thing Hrishi ordered was “Soodu Vezam”, that was actually hot, pink water! It looked really nice. :P And then Sanju ordered for the one and only “Puttu”. Haha. That’s actually what it’s called. The waiter brought 5 pieces of the idly kind of thing and served us one apiece. It had a lot of coconut sprinkled on it. Sanju asked for Coconut milk as a side dish. The guy brought a whole bowl of grated coconut and placed it on the table. Haha. Poor chap! Given a chance, I think Keralites will eat raw coconut with all meals! The guy brought coconut milk, which was a side dish for everything, the Puttu, the appam, the nool Puttu (the noodles-like thing). It all tasted pretty decent. Sanju fell in love with the Puttu. He literally went crazy!! Kept saying “Puttu rocks” and kept talking to his Puttu. It was too funny. After paying the bill, we got our arses out of that place and started towards Chembra peak.
At 2100 mts above mean sea level, Chembra is the highest peak in Wayanad and is ideal for trekking. It’s a 6 km long trek and apparently, the view from atop the mountain is exhilarating. I’m saying “apparently” because we couldn’t reach the peak. It was very tiring and hot. We had to drive till a point by car and then move on foot. There was some Malayalam movie-shooting going on there. We walked for like 5 minutes along the path and Hrishi got bored. He looked towards his left and said that was the way and claimed that he had taken the same route when he had come here previously. There was an overgrowth of grass and I don’t know if it was because I didn’t have my glasses, but I could see absolutely no path there. We followed Hrishi, uncertain of what was in store for us. It was completely erratic. We didn’t know where we were going. All we knew was that as long as we’re going upwards, we’re going in the right direction. The ground was slippery. I was told to hold on to the roots of the grass and that I could completely rely on them. So we all went up, grabbing onto all the blades of grass we could. By the time we reached a small landing, all of us had deep cuts on our fingers. Yes, when I say blades of grass, I mean it. They mercilessly cut into you. I guess I have very sensitive skin because my hand had so many scratches and fresh cuts; it looked like the aftermath of a catfight. After a short water break, we looked upwards. There was no more grass. There were huge trees that cut off the light before it could reach the ground. This time, Sanju led the way. He had a sharp blade in his hand to cut the branches that came in our way. The trees were really tall and the atmosphere there reminded me of the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts. I was a hoping to see a snake. But I was unlucky. All I saw was a dead earthworm. :-/ We rested for some time in the forest. Silence was pressing into my ears. But then the crickets were chirping away and there were other insect noises coming out of nowhere. It was nice sitting there and listening to the sounds of the forest. Peace, finally. We thanked Hrishi for taking us in the wrong path because the correct one seemed really boring. We left again, this time we had to walk through tea plantations. There are billions of acres of tea plantation in Kerala. Kannan Devan tea is manufactured there. The estates look heavenly! While walking through these estates, we finally heard human voices and were so happy that we were moving in the right direction. That boosted up our energy and we tried finding the path faster. Hrishi kept talking about this heart-shaped lake, which we would reach when we were half way through. We made it quite quickly to the actual path. As we walked we came across a piece of land that looked like it had water, but had dried up because of the heat and Hrishi said that was the heart-shaped lake. Disappointed of not having been able to see the lake, we moved on and stopped at a spot for pictures. The scenery was spectacular. While we were at it, some Malyali dudes called out to us from 15 ft above and said that they found the lake. I ran towards the lake, closely followed by the rest of them, glad that I would be able to dip my feet, which were baking in my shoes. The lake was not even close to a heart-shape. I don’t really know how it got the name. But it sure was amazing! The peak was around 50 mts higher. Since we were all tired we decided to end it at the lake and go back down. We sat down on the rocks by the lake. Navu was having trouble with her extremely long toenails, which Sanju had to cut off using his “multi-purpose super blade”. Hehe. Su made some bread–jam sandwiches for us. FYI, Bread-jam-kurkure is an awesome combo. And then everyone made fun of the way I say “kurkure”. Seriously! I say it as normally as everyone else does! My name through out the trip was “Dumb Blonde”. X-( Again, %#^&** Hrishi! All of us mimicked the NRI’s we knew and had a good laugh. One of the Malyali dudes, whose name I figured out was Kanta (Haha), kept making uncanny sounds to contact his friend who was at the peak. They communicated weirdly. A bunch of boys came running down the hill and had a dip in the lake. They left along with us. I must say, Keralites are pretty damn friendly. The boys ran down pretty fast and screamed out to us if they had to wait for us and if we needed their help. We said “no” and they left. We started trekking downwards, this time I led everyone. :D Going down was slower than the other way round. The probability of falling off is greater, especially if you don’t have shoes with proper grip. Slowly, sitting down at all places required, I went, followed by Su, Hrishi, Sanju and Navu. We came across a peculiar person who I thought was dumb, in the sense, he couldn’t talk. He said something about his manager climbing up the hill and made Hrishi touch his heart(which he thought was in the right side :P). He also did some dance moves and left me wondering what kinds of maniacs exist. Navu had swalpa fear of heights. So she took her own time and Sanju and Hrishi came down with her. Su and I found ourselves down in a jiffy and we waited for the rest of them. After we were all together again, we started towards our car. We drank water from a tank, which we found on the way. God knows how old it was, but it tasted really good. With Sanju driving, we reached the bottom of the cliff and back at the home-stay. We had to pack up quickly as we were to camp by the riverside that night. We left ASAP. Pavithran sent a guy called Mani (the Dude!) with us just in case we needed help.
Kuruva Island was the place where we were to camp. Every time I think about it, “Kyeruva Island” comes into my mind. Damn that was so funny! It was around 40kms from Kalpetta and we didn’t know the directions. Sanju had completely lost it. He tried to make people think he was a Keralite and asked everyone directions by imitating the Malyalis. “Kyeruva Island?” he said. He got super jacked by one guy who corrected him and said “Kuruva Island”. Haha. Sanju’s crazy act and our “Hotel Keralafornia” song left the horrible, bumpy, mud-roads unnoticed. We met Mani who was the only one we knew in Kerala so far who could speak Kannada. He actually knew every single person in the town. He led the way to the island on a bike on which two people were already seated. We liked to call this guy “Money” rather than “Mani”. He showed us a spot were we could install our tent, said he’d return at night and with that, he left. Navu took out the tent, which I thought would fit in only one person, judging by the bag it was in. It was fun putting it up (I didn’t do anything. I shot a video. :P). Navu was a pro at this, so was Sanju. We let them do the work. And when it was done, I was dumbstruck! Holy cow! That was a huge tent. It could fit in 6 of us easily both for standing as well as sleeping, and mind you, Hrishi and Sanju are more than 6 feet tall. We walked around a little, picking up wooden sticks for the campfire. The auburn branches of the bamboo trees around looked beautiful against the blue sky, which in no time turned into shades of pink and orange. The green trees surrounding the river Kabini added to the beauty of the whole place. We were back at our tent in half an hour. Navu cut up onions and other vegetables and gave us tasty boiled egg with salt and pepper, Sanju made maggi with Knorr soup, Hrishi blended the Russian distilled spirits and the liquid made from fermented sugar-cane product. Su and I made egg sandwiches. We hogged quite a lot. Tired, the married couple went to sleep. The three of us packed up everything and waited till Money arrived. After what seemed to me like an hour he came, talking happily over the phone. We assumed he was talking to his hot, girlfriend, who would have coconut oil smeared on her head 24*7. And then I was teased with him, because I said he was hot. Haha. It was getting cold, and the air was filled with mosquitoes and fireflies. They looked really pretty. Hrishi caught one of them, but I didn’t have enough guts to catch one. Hehe. We went inside and left Money and his hot girlfriend to themselves. We played Dumb Charades for sometime, acting out words from Pictionary cards. Soon, we fell asleep, waiting for the next day, which turned out to be one of the best days of my life. :)
Click here for pictures
At 2100 mts above mean sea level, Chembra is the highest peak in Wayanad and is ideal for trekking. It’s a 6 km long trek and apparently, the view from atop the mountain is exhilarating. I’m saying “apparently” because we couldn’t reach the peak. It was very tiring and hot. We had to drive till a point by car and then move on foot. There was some Malayalam movie-shooting going on there. We walked for like 5 minutes along the path and Hrishi got bored. He looked towards his left and said that was the way and claimed that he had taken the same route when he had come here previously. There was an overgrowth of grass and I don’t know if it was because I didn’t have my glasses, but I could see absolutely no path there. We followed Hrishi, uncertain of what was in store for us. It was completely erratic. We didn’t know where we were going. All we knew was that as long as we’re going upwards, we’re going in the right direction. The ground was slippery. I was told to hold on to the roots of the grass and that I could completely rely on them. So we all went up, grabbing onto all the blades of grass we could. By the time we reached a small landing, all of us had deep cuts on our fingers. Yes, when I say blades of grass, I mean it. They mercilessly cut into you. I guess I have very sensitive skin because my hand had so many scratches and fresh cuts; it looked like the aftermath of a catfight. After a short water break, we looked upwards. There was no more grass. There were huge trees that cut off the light before it could reach the ground. This time, Sanju led the way. He had a sharp blade in his hand to cut the branches that came in our way. The trees were really tall and the atmosphere there reminded me of the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts. I was a hoping to see a snake. But I was unlucky. All I saw was a dead earthworm. :-/ We rested for some time in the forest. Silence was pressing into my ears. But then the crickets were chirping away and there were other insect noises coming out of nowhere. It was nice sitting there and listening to the sounds of the forest. Peace, finally. We thanked Hrishi for taking us in the wrong path because the correct one seemed really boring. We left again, this time we had to walk through tea plantations. There are billions of acres of tea plantation in Kerala. Kannan Devan tea is manufactured there. The estates look heavenly! While walking through these estates, we finally heard human voices and were so happy that we were moving in the right direction. That boosted up our energy and we tried finding the path faster. Hrishi kept talking about this heart-shaped lake, which we would reach when we were half way through. We made it quite quickly to the actual path. As we walked we came across a piece of land that looked like it had water, but had dried up because of the heat and Hrishi said that was the heart-shaped lake. Disappointed of not having been able to see the lake, we moved on and stopped at a spot for pictures. The scenery was spectacular. While we were at it, some Malyali dudes called out to us from 15 ft above and said that they found the lake. I ran towards the lake, closely followed by the rest of them, glad that I would be able to dip my feet, which were baking in my shoes. The lake was not even close to a heart-shape. I don’t really know how it got the name. But it sure was amazing! The peak was around 50 mts higher. Since we were all tired we decided to end it at the lake and go back down. We sat down on the rocks by the lake. Navu was having trouble with her extremely long toenails, which Sanju had to cut off using his “multi-purpose super blade”. Hehe. Su made some bread–jam sandwiches for us. FYI, Bread-jam-kurkure is an awesome combo. And then everyone made fun of the way I say “kurkure”. Seriously! I say it as normally as everyone else does! My name through out the trip was “Dumb Blonde”. X-( Again, %#^&** Hrishi! All of us mimicked the NRI’s we knew and had a good laugh. One of the Malyali dudes, whose name I figured out was Kanta (Haha), kept making uncanny sounds to contact his friend who was at the peak. They communicated weirdly. A bunch of boys came running down the hill and had a dip in the lake. They left along with us. I must say, Keralites are pretty damn friendly. The boys ran down pretty fast and screamed out to us if they had to wait for us and if we needed their help. We said “no” and they left. We started trekking downwards, this time I led everyone. :D Going down was slower than the other way round. The probability of falling off is greater, especially if you don’t have shoes with proper grip. Slowly, sitting down at all places required, I went, followed by Su, Hrishi, Sanju and Navu. We came across a peculiar person who I thought was dumb, in the sense, he couldn’t talk. He said something about his manager climbing up the hill and made Hrishi touch his heart(which he thought was in the right side :P). He also did some dance moves and left me wondering what kinds of maniacs exist. Navu had swalpa fear of heights. So she took her own time and Sanju and Hrishi came down with her. Su and I found ourselves down in a jiffy and we waited for the rest of them. After we were all together again, we started towards our car. We drank water from a tank, which we found on the way. God knows how old it was, but it tasted really good. With Sanju driving, we reached the bottom of the cliff and back at the home-stay. We had to pack up quickly as we were to camp by the riverside that night. We left ASAP. Pavithran sent a guy called Mani (the Dude!) with us just in case we needed help.
Kuruva Island was the place where we were to camp. Every time I think about it, “Kyeruva Island” comes into my mind. Damn that was so funny! It was around 40kms from Kalpetta and we didn’t know the directions. Sanju had completely lost it. He tried to make people think he was a Keralite and asked everyone directions by imitating the Malyalis. “Kyeruva Island?” he said. He got super jacked by one guy who corrected him and said “Kuruva Island”. Haha. Sanju’s crazy act and our “Hotel Keralafornia” song left the horrible, bumpy, mud-roads unnoticed. We met Mani who was the only one we knew in Kerala so far who could speak Kannada. He actually knew every single person in the town. He led the way to the island on a bike on which two people were already seated. We liked to call this guy “Money” rather than “Mani”. He showed us a spot were we could install our tent, said he’d return at night and with that, he left. Navu took out the tent, which I thought would fit in only one person, judging by the bag it was in. It was fun putting it up (I didn’t do anything. I shot a video. :P). Navu was a pro at this, so was Sanju. We let them do the work. And when it was done, I was dumbstruck! Holy cow! That was a huge tent. It could fit in 6 of us easily both for standing as well as sleeping, and mind you, Hrishi and Sanju are more than 6 feet tall. We walked around a little, picking up wooden sticks for the campfire. The auburn branches of the bamboo trees around looked beautiful against the blue sky, which in no time turned into shades of pink and orange. The green trees surrounding the river Kabini added to the beauty of the whole place. We were back at our tent in half an hour. Navu cut up onions and other vegetables and gave us tasty boiled egg with salt and pepper, Sanju made maggi with Knorr soup, Hrishi blended the Russian distilled spirits and the liquid made from fermented sugar-cane product. Su and I made egg sandwiches. We hogged quite a lot. Tired, the married couple went to sleep. The three of us packed up everything and waited till Money arrived. After what seemed to me like an hour he came, talking happily over the phone. We assumed he was talking to his hot, girlfriend, who would have coconut oil smeared on her head 24*7. And then I was teased with him, because I said he was hot. Haha. It was getting cold, and the air was filled with mosquitoes and fireflies. They looked really pretty. Hrishi caught one of them, but I didn’t have enough guts to catch one. Hehe. We went inside and left Money and his hot girlfriend to themselves. We played Dumb Charades for sometime, acting out words from Pictionary cards. Soon, we fell asleep, waiting for the next day, which turned out to be one of the best days of my life. :)
Click here for pictures
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Day 2: May 17th, 2008
Trrriiiinnggggg!!!! (6 am) Snooze. Trrriiinnggggg!! (7 am) Snooze. Trrrriiinnggg!! (7:30 am) Snooze. Trrriiinnnnggggg!!! (8 am) Argh!!! I hate alarms! They’re so pissing off! I got up and found everyone out of bed. We were supposed to leave to Wayanad early in the morning. We found ourselves rushing to get all the work done and seeing this, Sanju made a declaration – “It is OUR trip and we will do what we WANT to do WHENEVER we want to do it! Time doesn’t matter!” Gee. That did reduce the tension a little. We had breakfast at a place called Mahesh Prasad as Su unintentionally cracked some perverted jokes while giving a speech on “How to clean your ear”. Haha.
We left leisurely at around 10 am to Wayanad, which is around 150 kms from Mysore. It is one of the loveliest hill stations of Kerala, nestled among the mountains of Western Ghats. We drove for the better part of the day with music playing on my iPod. Sanju made a statement that this trip was going to be a “purely high spirited” one. (Which it was) Hehe. We had to pass through Muthanga wild life sanctuary. En route I spotted a leash of foxes. They were hardly 15 ft away. They resembled wild dogs actually, but Navu, the animal lover, confirmed that they were foxes. After a silent photo session, we left the cunning animals to themselves and moved on. Not far from there, we found a parcel of spotted deer. Su and I had a vivid recollection of our father singing a Kannada song called “Nee jinkey mari naa?”. Haha. Personally, I felt the deer looked pretty ugly, but the fawn looked cute. The deer freaked out when they saw us and sped into the bushes. Again, we moved on. We stopped at this small, battered shop where Sanju bought a 2-litre bottle of Fanta, which tasted pretty awful. He insisted on having lunch at that place but the rest of us refused. Some uncle we met suggested a clean, vegetarian restaurant called “Kalpakka” which was situated in Sultan Bathery. Sultan Bathery is a small town on the way to Kalpetta (which was where we were going to stay for the night) from Muthanga. It lies approximately 25 kms from Kalpetta. Sanju was behind the wheels this time. We reached Sultan Bathery and found Hotel Kalpakka with no difficulty. Famished, eager to taste some delicacies of Kerala we entered the restaurant. It was a pretty clean room, had air conditioning and looked decent. (Ah! I remember, I had to pee all along! But the restroom was stinky. >:P ) Anyway, we ordered for three meals and two veg biryanis. While we waited, Sanju kept us entertained by opening and closing the door behind, which made a funny creaky sound, like a hen squawking. He was simply fascinated by the sound. Haha. And then the food arrived, bringing with it a strong aroma of coconut oil. Ughh! Should’ve seen that coming. Everything in Kerala has coconut oil in it! But it didn’t taste as bad as I expected it to be. After having a chapatti with some curry and Kerala’s famous Avial (which I hated) followed by some rice, I was pretty full. As we waited for the bill, we realised how many small cups were there on the table. Holy cow! 11 cups per meal plus 4 with each biriyani! That made it 40+ cups on the table. Hrishi thought out aloud “how many cups could probably be there in the kitchen?”. Haha. We had a good laugh wondering how many could really be there. After a pista flavoured ice cream and choco-bar we left the restaurant and headed towards Kalpetta.
Kalpetta is the District Headquarters of Wayanad. Beautiful place, with weird coloured houses. Seriously! Most of the houses were painted with jingbang colours and they all looked newly painted. I felt if you stare at the houses for too long, you’d probably go blind! Now, we were on a mission to find a place for us to stay. We called Pavithran, who is a trek organizer (or that is what I thought he is). But he couldn’t find a place for us. So we went to PPS tourist home for rooms, but they were full. And then we called a female called Fathima, who apparently rented out flats for tourists. She said those were full too. I felt homeless and lost in a city full of people whose language sounded like gibberish to me. We called a guy at PPS who helped us out and told us about a home-stay about 100 mts from PPS. We searched for the place for about 20 minutes. We couldn’t recognize the place even though we went past it about 4 or 5 times. Even the guys in the garage opposite to the home-stay didn’t know of it. Losers! Navu and Hrishi went in to talk to the Malyali kutties who owned the house. All they understood was Rs.2000 and Rs.1500. Hehe. Their language is pretty funny. I would have laughed on their faces if I was in Navu’s or Hrishi’s place. Later Sanju went in with Navu to do the final talk and came out with nothing. :P (No offence intended). It was the same deal. We had to pay them Rs.1500 for a night. After A lot of thinking, we decided to take the place.
“Iqbal Mahal” it was called. It really was a palace. It was a brand new house, with two huge bed rooms, a kitchen, a drawing room and of course a bath room. It also had a back yard, which looked freaky at night. It was around 4 pm and we all freshened up and got ready to break some rules. :P
It was finally time to click pictures and I bet Navu (the professional photographer) was the happiest! Hehe. We admired Mother Nature for about an hour and called it a day. We drove back to our home-stay, tired and strained. Sanju made us some Maggi and Egg bhurji (which I ate in spite of having quit eating egg) blended with pride :P .After burning some unwanted plants and highly spirited conversations, Navu and Sanju hit the sack. I turned on the TV and watched Roadies along with Su and Hrishi. I found a really comfortable sleeping bag. It was so soft and warm. I was fast asleep within minutes. Su and Hrishi stayed awake and stole the sleeping bag from me when they felt it was safe! Grrr!! Idiots!
Trip to Wayanad
Day 1: May 16th, 2008
Our trip began when we left from Navu’s place to Mysore. It was around 10:00 pm. Surprisingly, we were allowed to leave in spite of the lateness. And so we did. We reached our destination at around 12 am and according to Hrishi, we were “early”. So we decided to go to Chamundi hills. But then, Hrishi suggested we go to this place he had been to before, which was apparently a huge piece of land with a few abandoned houses and a canal. Navu seemed to be dead scared to go there. After lot of contemplation, she reluctantly agreed and we left.
We went about two kms away in the opposite direction and took a deviation to the canal. The place was deserted except for a Police jeep. We went in anyway. Omfg! It was the scariest thing I had ever seen! There were around 40-50 unoccupied houses not far from us. It was pitch dark and all I could see is that the houses had metal doors and windows that creaked and banged against the wall in the cold night air. It was a breezy night. Su and Navu refused to get out of the car but Hrishi insisted we go a little further and claimed that there was an interesting board in there. We went in, all of us clinging onto Hrishi. There we saw a board facing a wall so that it’s contents were hidden from view of the passers by. I went forward and read the board. A shiver ran down my spine and immediately I turned around and ran towards the car. The board read
Al-Huja housing and Burial Ground
Damn! Who could possibly take us to a graveyard so late in the night?! *%^^$% Hrishi!! Su wanted the car to be checked for maybe ghosts :P before we sat in. Haha. I gave the houses one last glimpse and got into the car. We sat in silence. I guess none of us could get over the fact that we had just walked into an effing graveyard, except Hrishi of course who seemed to find it quite normal. We reached home and had Sanju waiting outside for us. It was around 1 am. The bed was already made, for us to crash. But we decided to watch a movie instead. We watched a movie called “The man from Earth”. It was an excellent movie about a 14,000-year-old man. Gradually, everyone fell asleep and it was around 3 am when I slept looking forward to the next day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)